Mel Robbins’ “Life Changing” Mindset Hack
The “Let Them” Theory tells us to stop focusing our energy on other people, and instead bring the focus back to ourselves.
When you say, "Let them," you’re acknowledging that you can’t control what other people think, say, or do. You release yourself and your energy from trying to control the uncontrollable. Then, when you say, "let me," you’re reminding yourself of what you can control: how you think about things, how you respond to people or situations, and how you deal with your own emotions.
I really like how this theory can help us navigate feelings around relationships. For example, you see on social media a group of your “friends” have gone to dinner without you. You have a few choices in how you want to respond - you can get angry, sulk and/or lash out at these supposed “friends” OR you can say “let them” - let them go out, let them not include me, let them live their lives (I’m going to live mine). Per Robbins (and I agree), there is a real sense of relief and freedom that comes from letting go of these things that you cannot control (even if they bother you!). There is also a great opportunity to use “Let Them” with forming new relationships and dating.
Worrying about these types of situations —which are largely beyond our control—or trying to manipulate them can lead to unnecessary emotional distress, and wasted time and energy. By letting people act as they would, you get to see their true nature faster, allowing you to respond accordingly. This is the “let me” part - which is about taking action and choosing what you do next, and where you want to focus your energy. In this instance, maybe it spurs you to explore new friendships or check in with your old friends who you might be feeling disconnected from.
In short, the "Let Them" theory is about freeing yourself from the stress of trying to control things outside your control and putting your energy toward what you can influence—your own responses and well-being. Of course, it cannot be applied to every person or situation. Definitely take the “theory” with a grain of salt! It is not a one-sized fits all concept.
If you want to read the book, click the link here. p.s. I listened as an audiobook, which was enjoyable!